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Every year, World Suicide Prevention Day serves as a reminder that small actions can make a big difference, and that every supportive conversation has the potential to save a life. This year, suicide prevention charity, Samaritans, are championing one clear message: "If you think somebody may be suicidal, take action, interrupt their thoughts and show them that you care".
In the UK, somebody dies by suicide every 90 minutes, and one in four of us have had suicidal thoughts. At Rightsteps, we believe that workplaces have a real role to play in reducing those numbers. Behind many of those struggling, is a colleague, team member or manager who can make a real difference, provide support, and signpost to help.
However, we know that approaching the subject of suicidal thoughts can feel daunting, particularly when it’s with colleagues in the workplace. We may feel that it’s “not our place”, that we may have “misread the signs”, or that we simply don’t know the “right thing” to say.
This World Suicide Prevention Day, we’re focusing on providing practical support for employers and employees. In this blog, we take a closer look at what it means to experience suicidal thoughts, why suicide is difficult to talk about, signs that a colleague may be struggling, and a step-by-step approach to interrupting suicidal thoughts at work.
What do we mean by suicidal thoughts and ideation?
When somebody expresses to you that they are experiencing suicidal thoughts, it can sometimes be an instinctive reaction to panic and jump to conclusions. This is often due to stigma and misconceptions which surround suicide, and a lack of understanding into what somebody may be going through. By knowing what it means to experience suicide ideation, we can approach the topic rationally and calmly.
Suicidal ideation, or suicidal thoughts, are the feelings and thoughts that people have about wanting to die or not wanting to live anymore. They can range from a fleeting intrusive or momentary thought to more persistent consideration or detailed plan.
Suicidal thoughts may be described as “active” or “passive”. Passive ideation can refer to when somebody no longer has the motivation to live, while active ideation includes that planning or intent.
It’s important to recognise that suicidal thoughts can fluctuate, and they can build over time, which is why timely conversations and interrupting thought patterns matter.
Why is suicide difficult to talk about?
As mentioned, as many as one in four people have experienced suicidal thoughts, so why is suicide so difficult to talk about?
We’ve explored this question by talking to those with lived experience about why it can be challenging for individuals to open up about suicide. Matthew, Lilly, Laryssa and Allen, have all identified as being at risk of suicide in their past, here is what they shared:
1. “People just don’t know what to say.”
Matthew shared that, while not intentional, people sometimes say things that minimise experiences and make them seem as though they aren’t serious, such as:
- “You’ll be fine”
- “Don’t be silly”
- “Chin up”
- “There’s nothing wrong in your life.”
2. “I don’t have anyone to confide in.”
The individuals which we spoke to shared that they felt that they didn’t have anyone close enough to them that they felt they could trust or confide in. Laryssa added “and my family are dealing with their own demons.”
3. “I feel like a burden.”
Those who had struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts stated that they felt like they would've burdened their family, friends, or even support services, if they opened up about what they were experiencing.
4. “It’s not what people want to hear.”
Matthew worked as a tradesman and said that culturally it’s not the “done thing to do” to talk about your feelings.
5. “There can be a lack of empathy.”
“Empathy is not sympathy,” shared Matthew. “Empathy is being able to step out of judgment and into that person's experience, instead of judging what you hear them say, and immediately jumping to a number of reactions.”
6. “I’m ashamed”
“I spent a lot of my time emotionally shut down,” shared Alan. “A lot of that was with the intention of protecting myself from the pain, the anger, the sadness, the grief, the shame.” He also explained how worrying about what others might think can add to the feelings of shame in an unhelpful cycle that leaves you more closed off.
Spotting signs that a colleague may be struggling
There is no definitive list of signs that confirms that somebody may be thinking about suicide. However, looking for patterns or changes, and trusting our gut feelings and concerns can make all the difference in providing support at the right time. Signs to be aware of could include:
- Talking about hopelessness, feeling trapped, being a burden or having no reason to live
- Withdrawing from colleagues, or a loss of interest in work or social connection
- Noticeable changes in mood, irritability, tearfulness, anxiety or distress
- Seeming emotionally “numb” or unbothered
- Decline in performance, missed deadlines, absenteeism or presenteeism, increased errors
- Changes in sleep or appetite that show up in conversation, or consistently seeming exhausted
- Increased use of alcohol, substances or other coping mechanisms
- Putting affairs in order, giving away items or saying goodbye in a way that feels unusual
- Expressing that things would be “better off without me”, even if framed as a joke
It’s important to remember that all of these signs are contextual, but if they show up together or your colleague acts in a way that feels “not like them”, it could be a good time to check in.
How to interrupt suicidal thoughts and start meaningful conversations at work
You don’t need to have all the answers to interrupt suicidal thoughts and show that you care. Here are some helpful tips to consider when taking action to support a colleague:
Consider time and place
Anybody can interrupt someone’s suicidal thoughts, and interruptions don’t always have to be face-to-face. If you don’t feel able to approach someone in person, or if you work remotely and are concerned about a colleague, then a phone call, message or any other way of connecting can be enough. The key is to make sure that it’s a moment where you have enough time to talk and really listen.
You don’t have to talk about suicide to interrupt a suicidal thought
Despite common misconceptions, asking someone directly about suicide doesn’t put the idea in their head or make them more likely to take their own life. In fact, addressing concerns openly can reduce risk and help to open the door to accessing support.
But, let’s be honest, asking a colleague, who you may not know very well, whether they’re experiencing suicidal thoughts might not always feel achievable. Instead, you could simply ask “how are you?” or “would you like to chat?”.
Samaritans also suggest that even a bit of small talk about your environment or something completely random can go a long way when it comes to distracting suicidal thoughts. Interrupting and starting a conversation about anything is always better than not starting one at all, even if it just provides a distraction in the moment.
Listen without judgement
Feeling understood, respected and free from judgement is key to being able to speak openly about how you’re feeling. You might not fully understand what they’re going through, and that’s okay. As a supporter, be there to really listen and show compassion. It’s okay to remind them that their feelings and emotions at the moment won’t last forever, but avoid using any language which might diminish or play-down their experiences.
Be patient
Remind them that you are there for them and keep the door open, but don’t try to force them into opening up or accessing support if they don’t feel ready to. Small, consistent actions can help to reinforce that they aren’t alone.
Check safety
If you believe someone is at immediate risk stay calm and stay with them. You can contact a crisis service like SHOUT or Samaritans 24/7, or call 111 for advice. Links to further support and resources can be found at the end of this page.
If they’re not in immediate danger, you can signpost them to support services, their GP, Employee Assistance Programmes, or line managers within your organisation.
Looking after yourself too
Supporting someone who may be experiencing suicidal thoughts can feel overwhelming. It’s natural to feel worried, unsure, or apprehensive. As a result, it’s important to look after yourself too during this process. Try to keep healthy boundaries and remember that you are there to listen and signpost to support, not to carry everything alone. Paying attention to your own wellbeing ensures you can keep showing up for others in a way that is safe and sustainable.
Steps to creating a supportive workplace culture that prevents suicide
We spend a significant proportion of our adult lives at work, making workplace environment vital in reducing the risk of suicide. Small, consistent steps which take active notice of your teams can make your workplace culture safer and more supportive for all:
- Make mental health conversations a normal subject of discussions – not just on awareness days or in crisis.
- Ensure managers and team leaders are equipped to spot signs, ask the questions, and signpost confidently to support.
- Create clear internal support pathways and ensure your people know how to access them.
- Designate time for meaningful connection whether it’s through team building activities, coffee mornings, or peer support schemes to ensure no one feels isolated.
- Lead by example and take proactive steps to support your own mental health, ensure a work life balance and uphold boundaries.
You are not alone. Access support today:
My Rightsteps Hub - Access expert resources and support to empower your mental health and wellbeing on the go with the My Rightsteps Hub. Don't have access? Book a demo here.
Samaritans - Support available 24/7. Call 116 123 for free.
SHOUT - Text 'SHOUT' to 85258 for free confidential support 24/7
Turning Point - Mental Health Support and Talking Therapies
NHS - Call 111 or find mental health support on their website
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) - Call 0800 58 58 58 - available everyday 5pm-midnight
Zero Suicide Alliance (ZSA) - Free online suicide awareness training